I have sat here for a couple of days debating on if I should write this blog or not. After much deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that writing this is a must…for me.
It’s no secret that my oldest daughter has been in her father’s custody for many years. While I would love to spill the details of that story, I shall refrain. Moving on…
My sweet Angel had her graduation ceremony this past weekend. Me, the boyfriend and our children loaded up and headed to the hotel we booked (about 25 minutes from the ceremony). To me this should be an incredibly exciting time for my Angel Baby. With all she has been through, deprived of, and so on…she managed to survive the roughest years of her teenage life and complete high school. She has worked hard to overcome every single obstacle thrown at her. If you ask me, she managed to do it with great strength and she even managed to stay humble throughout. Not only is she beautiful (inside and out) but she is intelligent, hard working, fun and just an all around joy to be around.
We had a great time during our visit. We relaxed by the pool (wishing the star of the show could be there of course), had some food, got all dressed up and headed to the stadium. We tried getting her attention after she sat down but there was so much noise and the police officers made her siblings get back to their seats and out of the walkways. We sat there in the heat, hoping we wouldn’t deal with a storm, all waiting impatiently to yell, scream and cheer for our graduate. Once the ceremony was complete, the younger siblings ran off to find their big sister on the field. The boyfriend and I met up with them at the edge of the field a few minutes later.
My excitement quickly started to decline as I knew we would have to let her get to the other half of her family, but I still soaked up the seconds we had left. We walked her out of the stadium to where her family was waiting to congratulate her. It was great to see such a turn out in support of my Angel.
***Here is where I change things within my writing…at this point I am going to focus this directly to her father and her stepmother (mostly the stepmother)…***
Within minutes of walking my sweet angel to meet up with you, you all turned and started walking away. You led me to assume that you all were just leaving with her and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Why is this, you may ask. Well simply put, you did not take the time to explain what you were doing or what your intentions were. Instead you just start walking. I did follow. I did have every intention on saying goodbye and walking away because it was obvious on what was going on. And though I’d love to sit around and piss you off, I had my other children with me. These children have ZERO to do with your issues. These children were very excited to celebrate their sister’s accomplishment. But none of you took a moment to think about that as you turn around and attack me with a dreadfully rehearsed speech.
It was obvious that you had rehearsed this attack many times and frankly (aside from you looking like a lunatic 2 year old in an adults body) you came across showing everyone the following (yes, I have a list for your behavior):
- Not only did you look crazed but you only proved the fact that you both, alongside the remainder of the family, have done nothing but push me out of her life many times over. So thank you for showing her this. I knew it would be just a matter of time.
- Your husband is running for a political position in your county and yet you don’t have enough respect to act appropriately in public and speak to people (doesn’t matter if you like them or not) in a civil tone? That is definitely not someone I would want in office for my county…
- How old are we that you cannot stop long enough and say hey this is what we are going to do, please give us a few minutes and then you can do as needed? Was that really hard? Do I pose that much of an imaginary threat to you, even though I have only had a few words with you (civil words, might I add) since I met you, that you just go straight to bitch Chihuahua? You might want to seek help for that. I have never done a single derogatory thing to you!
- “We get her first. We raised her.” That was absolutely uncalled for. First off, this is HER graduation. Are you jealous of her and her attention to the point you feel the need to cry out for your participation ribbon in any way possible? You do realize you are an adult and a parent…this is a time where you celebrate the child’s accomplishments, not your own. She deserves the attention, NOT YOU! Also, I might add IT WAS NOT MY CHOICE. If I had a choice in the matter, I would have always been there and you would have just been weekends and half the summer!
- Did anyone stop and ask her what she wanted or how she wanted things to go…in such a way that she felt comfortable answering truthfully? Pretty sure I can jump out on a limb and safely say the answer is no.
- Did you not realize that by attacking me with your verbal diarrhea that you would come across as hoity toity, classless, immature, controlling, crazy and highly disrespectful not only to me and my family, but to your family, as well as all of the other families that had to witness your lack of civility and self control?
- Were you going for the tough guy roll? Do you feel that you have won your one sided battle? You do realize that no matter what you say, do or feel I will always and FOREVER be her mother. You cannot take that from her or me! Also, I don’t care about you or your feelings nor do I care of your word vomit. What I do care about is you having the unmitigated audacity to make a scene (throw a tantrum, however you want to view it) on my daughter’s day! Disgusting!
I really hope that one day you will grow up and learn how to be civil for the sake of your children, if anything. I also hope that no one does something like you did and ruins your daughter’s graduation…whenever that may be.
You should go ahead and accept the fact that I am not and will not be leaving my daughter’s life. You can yell, kick, scream, sue, bribe…I do not care. I will not be going anywhere. I would prefer we go the civil route, mainly for her but also for the other children involved in this situation.
However, if you would prefer to act like 2 year olds…well let’s see who throws the best tantrum. Either way, you will NEVER get me out of her life! Do the right thing, the adult thing, the parent thing….apologize to her for your actions and for ruining her day. Then let’s be adults and be there for the wonderfully amazing children in our lives.
One appalled mother
Ps. My boyfriend opted to not get involved but he did say he would have told you to walk away with pride…had he gotten involved.
Now…back to the fun part!
Congratulations my sweet angel!!!!! Thank you for having us there to share in such a joyous time. Thank you for giving us such a courteous visit, even if it was just a few minutes. Thank you for being understanding. Thank you for being the amazing you that you are. We are so proud of you and everything you have made it through. We can’t wait to see what you do with your future! We are most definitely sure it will be great things and many things. We hope the remainder of your graduation day was exactly everything you wanted.
We love you so very much and miss you already!
(Not to take attention from my Angel during her time of celebration, but I also want to take a moment and thank my Princess baby for being there and reminding me that I am a mother first and foremost. She also made sure to help keep my head and focus where they should be…on my kids and our graduate!)
Love the sibling love between these lively children of mine.