1. First and foremost: honesty, loyalty and history. Be honest, no matter how much you might think it will hurt…lies hurt more and make you unable to be trusted. Be loyal, unless you and your other have made a full on agreement/commitment to share “adult time” don’t do it! Being loyal also means you seek all of your relationship needs from your other, no one else. History, leave it in the past. Don’t compare your other to your ex. Don’t talk about your ex. Don’t say or do anything that makes your other think you are still ‘hooked’ on your ex. Let go of your demons, move on and build your future with your other!
2. Make an effort: this can include so many things. However, if you plan on keeping your other around for an extended amount of time, effort is needed on both sides. This includes but is not limited to…make time for your other (calls, texts, video chats, visits, etc), let them in on the goings on of your life, communicate (about everything important or not), learn each other and by all means attempt to try things you both enjoy (you might have more in common than you thought).
3. DO NOT MAKE PROMISES YOU DO NOT INTEND TO KEEP: make plans, don’t break them. Make a decision and stick to it. Don’t say one thing and later say another. All you are doing is confusing the relationship and throwing everything up in the air. Relationships require a strong foundation. Foundations cannot be built on broken promises.
4. Be yourself. If you cannot be yourself with your other, it’s probably best to end things quickly before you both become miserable and all of my advice ends up out the window. If your other can’t accept you for you, again probably best to end it sooner than later. IF you can be yourself around your other and he/she accepts you as a whole…you are off to a great start!
5. Keep it simple. Don’t read into a conversation too much. If you don’t understand something that was said, ask for clarification. If you assume and your other tells you that your assumption was wrong, then stop and ask for clarification so you both can be on the same page. You are a team after all. Watch your wording. Be careful with the words you choose. You don’t want to come off as an ass, but you also don’t want to come off as a push over either.
6. Stand your ground. Be firm in who you are and your position within your relationship. However, also be open to compromise. A team starting out will need to learn to work together to conquer all of life’s shenanigans. Communication and compromise will take you far.
7. Lastly, LOVE. Love with your whole self. Love with your entire heart. Give into weakness with your other. Let your other be your strength where you are weak and vice versa.
Being in love is one of the greatest pleasures in life. If you can be in love with someone who isn’t afraid to love you back and you both work together through it all, you truly are blessed!
Good luck to all you lovers out there!