Weddings – Marriage – Til Death….

Recently, it seems more and more I am approached with the comment (something along the lines of…): “So, when are you getting married again?”

I giggle every single time.

Truth is, I have absolutely ZERO desire to get married again. I married twice, already. The first time was right before I turned 19. Seemed like great fun, so we went for it. The second time, was not too long after I turned 23. Married to my high school sweetheart. Was definitely hoping for the fairy tale to end here. However, it obviously didn’t…

While my boyfriend is nothing short of amazing, I still have no plans for a wedding in our future. I don’t see a problem with spending your time and possible life with someone you care about deeply. I don’t need a ring, ceremony and so on to prove my “love”.

With that aside, I have decided to play with the idea of marriage. I did some research on just a few simple items that are staples in a typical wedding. The difference is, I had fun with it. None of this fancy shmancy nonsense or romantic crapola.

-The Cake Toppers-

I started with cake toppers. Cake toppers are quite common, at least in the many weddings/receptions that I have attended. I plugged in my search requirements and chose 3 sites. On each site, I chose one.

The first site we have here. From this site my most favorite (and of course most ridiculous choice would be: The cell phone cake topper. Here you see both bride and groom are on their cell phones…REALLY?! Why is this even an option for purchase…I mean seriously.

The second site I chose is this. On this site, I’d choose….Bride in charge, Groom not in charge. This one is hilarious, especially for me. I am a control freak. Ask anyone! So, I am pretty sure that those who know me (who are reading this)…stop nodding your head and laughing…you know exactly why I chose this. Still, I am absolutely in amazement that this is even an option. Quite funny, but what does this really say for the relationship? LOL! Uh, no…

For my third site, I went with this one. Now, here’s another that shouldn’t surprise anyone…I chose the Gone Fishing topper. This cracks me up because it would probably be the boyfriend’s choice. He loves to fish (much more than I do) but he’d also be the first to go “Babe, can we just go fishing instead?” He’s a silly one…

Now, my last one. For one, I am a sucker for handmade things and this just happens to be a search on one of my fave handmade sites. In checking through these, I found a few that were pretty darn funny. The drunk couple, the “we did what” sign, and the adorable penguins (I’m obsessed with penguins!) to name a few. The one I’d choose (for purposes of this article) would have to be the Gamer addict one. Again, thinking of the boyfriend…he loves his Xbox and has been known to par-take in hours of adventures with said Xbox. I am pretty sure I would have to drag his rear end off the game to get married…that is if we weren’t off fishing.

-Wedding Themes-

The next step would be a theme. Everyone has a theme, even if it’s just certain colors or traditions. This site definitely had me raising my eyebrows. As a child, I am sure I did not have any fantasy of being married using any of these themes. A few that I narrowed down my choices to would be: the zombie, the hip hop wedding, Star Wars, and the terrifying big a$$ selfie. However, the winner (I hope the bffl approves!) would be…Cut-offs and Country! Totally down for showing just a touch of skin on one of the local beaches. Must have the tiki torches and poorly designed archway as finishing touches! ❤

-Invitations and Gifts-

My final searches included the invitations and gifts. I will need people to attend, so by default they need notification somehow. I checked out this site and found a few that just made me giggle beyond belief. These invitations touch on multiple previous marriages, horrid family members (which were apparently forced into the party), and bad decisions. My faves would include the ones talking about the limitations of food (or lack thereof), the druids (smh…I have no real words), and the skeeball one! Loved the skeeball invitation just because I love skeeball. This is probably a good plug for a horrible rendition of a “you might be a redneck” joke…Let me not! Anyway, I opted for the one that says “After the vows we’ll then proceed to the elimination round”. This just screams perfection for my future wedding! What do you think?

Gifts!!! Oh em GEEEE!!! Who doesn’t love a great gift. Hell a good one would work too, right? Well here’s some ideas for my “wedding”. We aren’t registered anywhere, but I am pretty sure your local dollar store or similar would have quite a few items on this list. (I am such a pro at this!)

Naturally, I’d head to theknot.com for some pointers during the course of my planning. Couple of things we absolutely NEED y’all to consider buying us: everything in the “Cheapskate” category listed in the above link. Seriously in need of a bottle of vinegar veggies! I could definitely use a “book on relationships”. I am really not suited for marriage but this book may just help mine work! Finally, no better wedding gift to receive than a cinnamon-scented stuffed dog! Someone get on this please! Bffl? 😉

Ok, ok…enough with the ridiculousness on wedding planning choices. In all seriousness, I do believe that there are folks out there who can be married and things work out perfectly. However, I think that it’s just become a “fad” (for lack of a better term). I do have to ask, did you see anything that you’d include in your own wedding? How about a recommendation to a friend? Please remember this blog was made for fun. I am in no way picking on anyone for their choices or comical skill.

Happy planning y’all!

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