To my BFFL/Ex-husband’s Wife/Daughter’s Step-mom:

When we first met, it was via phone. We were nowhere near nice to each other. I yelled, screamed and threatened and, of course, you followed suit. At that time, it seemed as though we would never get along. We would never see eye to eye on anything. Things seemed absolutely impossible. This was difficult for me because of the relationship that your (now) husband and I had. He and I got along really well and we worked to get that way (really hard) for our daughter. You come along and he wasn’t as readily available as he had been. I didn’t have him to go to for news of our daughter or updates with the life we were living in the northern states.

Oh, I just despised you and your ever lingering presence…

Now, well over 6 years later, you have titles. As seen above, you have a few…to say the very least about you. These titles alone don’t express enough about you and my feelings about you and toward you. We both have our faults. We both antagonized the ever-loving daylights out of each other (we are southern, so it’s to be expected, right?). We both “poked the angry bear” and didn’t think twice about it. Then this wonderful thing happens…we talk! Holy crap! We actually have things in common. We both have the similar life goals. But the best part is you and I figured out that we are pretty awesome as friends.

I have watched you, as any decent mother would, from the beginning. I paid close attention to how you were with my princess (now we share our princess). I watched how you were with my ex-husband. You knew quickly how over protective of the two I have always been and will always be. I even paid attention to how you were with your own children and your parents. No, at first, I wanted to hate you…loathe you…continue to despise you…but watching you I grew into the “let me just give her the chance” phase.

Over time, I have seen you build this bond with our little girl. Almost as awesome as the one I have with her, but I am her mom so there’s that. (Yes, I am sticking my tongue out at you. I win!). I have seen you have so much patience with a very impatient man. Better yet, you have helped that impatient man to learn how to be more and more patient as the years pass. I have witnessed you and your husband go on “vacations” just to see our little girl, traveling long distances on very little sleep but still having the energy to be around a very active and bubbly mini me.

Goodness, we haven’t even gotten to our relationship yet….Let’s head over to that subject now. It’s where ALL the fun happens.

We haven’t always been close. We have talked and bs’d and so on but not really anything close like BFFL’s would be, until about halfway through our years together. I think we found out how much we are alike and how much we enjoy each other’s company when I moved home. We talked, shopped, manicured and got our hair did many times over. We have spent hours on end talking about everything and anything…including absolute nonsense til the wee hours of the morning. We have held business meetings, family meetings and BFFL meetings. We have been each other’s shoulders to cry on (mostly you’ve been mine because…reasons).

You have helped me in so many ways, that I don’t think you realize how much I treasure you and our closeness. Now-a-days…you are my ex-husband’s wife, my daughter’s step-mom and most definitely my BFFL! Although our friendship has been viewed as “weird” and/or “awesome”, hell sometimes both…I wouldn’t trade it for anything. My “baby daddy”, our princess and I are very lucky to have you and we are thankful for you. The same goes for my son (even though he’s only a part of me and our princess in this situation). You have made time for him and effort to include him.

BFFL, thank you. (As my eyes begin to tear…) Thank you for proving me wrong. Thank you for learning to work with such an insanely difficult woman, ex-wife and over bearing mother. Thank you for showing me how much our princess means to you and your family. Thank you for your boys, your parents and the remaining parts of your family that I have been blessed to meet and be a part of.

I love you, BFFL!

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2 thoughts on “To my BFFL/Ex-husband’s Wife/Daughter’s Step-mom:

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